Can we be honest about self care for a second?
Somewhere along the way it turned into another thing on the list. A bath you have to find an hour for. A morning routine that starts at 5am. A yoga class you booked, cancelled, and felt guilty about.
If you're a mum, you don't need one more thing to fail at. You're already carrying the lunchboxes, the permission slips, the appointments, the "what's for dinner" and the running tally of who needs new shoes.
So this isn't that kind of self care post. I'm not going to tell you to wake up earlier or find time you don't have.
This is about five minutes. Sometimes less. Tiny pauses that slot into the day you're already living, so nothing gets added to your plate.
Why tiny pauses count
A five minute pause won't fix the mental load. I wish it did.
What it does is give you one moment in the day that belongs to you. Not to the kids, the washing or the inbox. Just you, remembering you're a person as well as a mum.
And small is the whole point. Quick self care for mums only works if it's small enough to actually happen on a Tuesday. A weekend away is lovely. It's also not coming this week.
7 Five minute self care ideas for busy mums
Pick one. Not all seven. One is plenty.
1. Drink the first three sips hot
You don't have to finish the cuppa. Just stand still for the first three sips while it's actually hot. No phone, no unpacking the dishwasher with your other hand. Three sips, then go.
2. Take the car park minute
You're early for school pick-up, or you've just pulled into the carpark. Before you open the door, sit. One minute, engine off, nobody asking you for anything. It's the quietest room you own.
3. Play one song, all the way through
Your song. Not the kids' playlist. Put it on while you're cooking dinner or folding washing and let it be the only thing you're listening to for three and a half minutes. Singing badly is encouraged.
4. Light the candle on a Tuesday
We save the nice things for guests, for birthdays, for "one day". Light the good candle while you're making school lunches. You're allowed to be the special occasion.
5. Step outside and look up
Back step, front porch, clothesline. Go out without your phone, take five slow breaths and look at the sky. It sounds too simple to matter. Try it at 4pm on a hard day and tell me it doesn't.
6. Make hand cream the full stop
You wash your hands a hundred times a day anyway. Once a day, follow it with hand cream and take a slow thirty seconds to rub it in. It's a tiny way of telling yourself you're worth looking after too.
7. Keep one beautiful thing in your eyeline
Put something you love where you'll see it in the thick of it. On the kitchen windowsill, next to the kettle, on your bedside table. For me it's flowers. Dried florals are perfect for this because they ask nothing of you. No water, no wilting, no guilt. They just sit there being beautiful while the chaos happens around them.
How to make a pause stick
Here's what helps, from one tired mum to another:
- Attach it to something you already do. The kettle, the school run, washing your hands. You're not finding new time, you're claiming time that's already there.
- Choose one and keep it for a week. A single pause you actually take beats seven you feel bad about skipping.
- Drop the guilt when you miss it. Some days there genuinely isn't five minutes. That's not failing. That's a big day. The pause will be there tomorrow.
You don't have to earn it
You don't need to finish the list first. The list doesn't finish. You're allowed to pause in the middle of the mess, with the washing still in the basket and the dishes still in the sink.
Five minutes won't change your whole life. But it's five minutes where you get to be you. And you deserve at least that.
I see you. I'm right there in the chaos with you.
Jess x
Come and pause with us
If this felt like a deep breath, The Soul Full Pause Village is where we do it together. It's a no-judgement space for Aussie mums who are tired of doing it all alone. Come and join us in the Village.
And if you'd like your own beautiful thing for the windowsill, you can browse our handmade dried and preserved florals. Not sure how to look after them? Last week's post has you covered.